Get your life in alignment

Alignment Star

Click on the Alignment Star above, to see which area of life you need to address.

Ever wondered why there is a lack of balance in the world? Well there are many people who see this yet do not realise they have the power to change it.

The world around us is often in chaos and disorder. What we do in light of this is to try and control what we can. We hold on so tight to our work, families, finances and ourselves. Our control makes us feel better because we can manage a few things which sort of work. This is a short term solution.

As a coach I see the result of this all the time. I hear clients expressing the lack of work life balance, health issues affecting work focus, emotional stress causing family relationships to be unhappy or hard to manage. They say “Ek probeer alles by mekaar te hou, maar daar is altyd pap op die vloer.”

Essentially, it is not working. Our approach has to change and it starts within, is quite simple and anyone can do it. “Oh ja?” I hear you say “If it was that easy everyone would be doing it.” Of course you are right. Yet I did not say it was easy, I said simple.

We overcomplicate our lives and therefore simple solutions are seemingly too easy to be true.

Align your Life. This means finding out where you are in all aspects of life currently.

 

Self Coaching Questions:

  • Is your inner motor running at 6,000 rpm all the time? Stop.
  • Ask yourself. What am I trying to control that is really beyond my control?
  • What can I focus on, that is within my control?
  • Which areas of my life am I not paying attention to?
  • What can I do to generate more vitality in this area?

 

Alignment Star exercise:

  • Give yourself time to reflect on your alignment star and make time for you each week in aligning yourself with your star.
  • One area at a time, which needs most work.
  • What does it need? More organisation, more energy or effort, or that you let go and trust?
  • Ask a trusted advisor, friend, or a coach to help you to achieve this alignment.
  • Track your success by measuring where you are versus where you want to be.
  • Make time for you to think about yourself and your life each week, when you do not do anything. Just sit and reflect.

 

Adventure Coaching makes sense!

How neuroscience is changing the brain based coaching world is phenomenal.
We are learning so much about how our internal drivers affect our brain chemistry, and how our brain chemistry affects our thinking.
We are truly integrated beings. Studies have proven that each brain is uniques, an the way we each use our brains is unique.
Of course, this is why machines will never take over from a living, breathing, intuitive coach. Life or executive coaches make some processes seem simple. They are not. To utilise the visual cortex and watch subtle body language, assimilate the information, draw on the memory, the hearing of intonation in the voice, and make choices in the dorso-lateral prefrontal cortex as to which question is going to lead a coachee to have an insight about his or her behaviour is far from simple.
An important function of the DLPFC is the executive functions, such as working memory, cognitive flexibility, planning, inhibition, and abstract reasoning.
How we utilise this information in our lives, work and when dealing with people is critical. When under pressure, the limbic system is engaged, meaning we are not thinking clearly.
lim·bic sys·tem ˈlimbik ˌsistəm
noun: limbic system; plural noun: limbic systems – a complex system of nerves and networks in the brain, involving several areas near the edge of the cortex concerned with instinct and mood. It controls the basic emotions (fear, pleasure, anger) and drives (hunger, sex, dominance, care of offspring)

In order to think, we need to first manage our emotional state. Large boadrooms of over – inflated egos making decisions on how companies and countries are run, is probably the least effective methodology.
Our decisions are far more rational when we are hydrated, calm, have a good source of oxygen and have the right stimuli.
When I conceptualised Adventure Coaching, it was to fulfill a selfish dream to be able to coach clients on my mountain bike. It turns out though, that when two people get together, are engaged in physical activity, pumping blood, oxygen and of course the dopamine release interpersed with water consumption, we are getting our brains in gear, literally.
My realisation has been profound, that there is a specific thinking pattern and series of behaviour patterns when we are in the role of employee, boss, corporate player, exec, manager, head, director or whatever title, dressed according to the role as opposed to how we operate as our authentic selves.
This transparent barrier is removed when we are outdoors, being ourselves, having a conversation with a trusted advisor.
I can be found kicking a ball around, walking up the trail, mountain biking or walking along the beach with my clients, and they are better off for it as their strategic thinking improves, their self awareness improves and they are motivated to act according to their strategic thinking. You can see that this takes longer than a normal coaching session. I hope you can also imagine the profound benefits.

PAY ATTENTION WHILE MOUNTAIN BIKING

individual coaching
I love riding my MTB in the countryside and this is what I do to destress and exercise.
The scenery is amazing, the wildlife is abundant and the terrain challenging in the Overberg.
The other day, after riding up and over a local hill, I descended with care as the shale like ground can be treacherous.
I relaxed a bit as the gradient leveled out.  A sheep ran across the road, I glanced at it and the next minute I was braking hard as I realised I was falling into a huge hole in the road!
I will spare you the expletives I uttered as I fell.
So how the hell could this happen?  I just told you I am a careful rider.  Now here comes the lesson.  You know they say things come in threes.  Well, I had a shin bump, a knee knock then a bike fall.
As I gingerly got up, realising nothing was broken, I muttered to myself, ‘pay attention’.
Even though I was looking where I was going as one does when riding a bike, the finer detail of the earth having been disturbed, escaped me.
I think in life, this is a damn good lesson.  Complacency, or expecting things to be the same, because last time they were that way trips us up a lot!
So what does paying attention mean?  I guess it is about awareness, alertness and responding to changes.
We as humans do not handle change well generally, which is why we go into threrapy after a relationship break up or lose confidence after a job loss.
I wrote to the municipality who came back to me very apologetic that they had not put up any warning signs or markings, whatsoever!
I think we have become so reliant on others to warn us, expect the authorities to take care of stuff like our roads, that we merrily drive or ride with absolutely no expectation that there could be a huge hole in our path.
This, despite the numerous disaster movies Hollywood is so fond of making.
So today, I will pay attention, will be alert, and will remind myself frequently, that the pain of not paying attention (which could have been a lot worse) is not worth the effort to wake the hell up and see what is around me.  So please do yourself a favour and be alert.  It may be a lifesaver.